Formalities in an Informal Society

Something that I have noticed recently about the local culture is the fact that it has many aspects that are informal. A lot of it has to do with what I was talking about a couple blog entries ago, the time perspective. In general, meetings don't start when they are supposed to and sometimes people say they will be somewhere but they never show up. Vulgar and vague diction is fairly common in everyday conversations, even in a work/serious context, which to me is a characteristic proper from an informal society.

Something that is very interesting to me is that at the same time, they are very formal in other ways. For example, the use of the "usted" form to refer to someone with more respect is something that is very common or I would even say that everyone uses it. It is used by anyone to talk to any person who is older than them. In Spain, where the culture I would say is considered formal, the use of the "usted" form is surprisingly not that common. It has been very hard to get used to talking to people in that form, and it is also difficult to determine whom I should talk to in that form or not. I feel that it might be offensive to do so with someone who doesn't want to feel older than you, but it is also offensive to someone who is clearly older because it seems like you are not respecting them. A lot of times I talk to older people in an informal way, and nobody has said anything about it, but I think that they understand because I am not from here. At least I hope that I haven't offended anyone. Also, individuals who have a degree in something have a title. For example, if they studied engineering, everyone calls them "Ingeniero/a Rodriguez," if they are teachers they are called "Maestra/o Pérez," if they have a degree in something that doesn't have a title like that, they are called "Licenciado/a Rosado" (licenciado means graduate). So no matter what one studies, even if it is just undergraduate, they have a title before their name. Even their friends will call them like that sometimes. This is very interesting to me because it seems very formal and it is something that I am not used to either. It's been difficult to get used to calling my boss Licenciada and talking to her in the usted form. Especially because she is fairly young. Lastly, people here tend to dress very formally to work and to any event. Before coming, I thought that since it was a small town, people here would not be focused on looks and that they would be very informal in the way they dress. But they care a lot about their appearance. In the social context, if they are going out, even if it's just to dinner, they get dressed up. Women always wear heels. I didn't even bring heels and I think that some of them have seen me and thought it was strange that I would wear sandals even to go out to a bar. At work, I was asked to go to cocktails and my boss specifically asked me to dress up and look nice. We had a conversation about what I was going to wear because she wanted to make sure I looked good enough because she said I am part of her image. That day I probably spent about half an hour to 45 minutes figuring out what I was going to wear (with help from my host mother, and her son's girlfriend). Towards the end I was stressed and I made comment about not liking to spend that much time picking out clothes, which was strange to the two other women. I also had to do my hair and make up which added even MORE TIME.

So in conclusion, I am very confused as far as how formal or informal this culture is. It clearly has formal and informal characteristics. In my opinion, they have many formalities that are traditions that they inherited from the Spaniards of hundreds of years ago. But their culture became an informal culture due to the caribbean atmosphere that I think made them calm and therefore have a more holistic view of time. What made me write about this today was that because of my job, I went to a press conference in which the mayor of the town was. Every time she is in public, she looks stunning. Every time she is wearing a different dress that looks very expensive, her hair is perfect, her make up looks nice, she wears a Michael Kors or a Coach purse, she has a personal assistant, etc. She looks very formal, but during the press conference she talked in a very informal way. She used vocabulary that doesn't exist in Spanish, such as "ahorita." It surprised me that such a formal person who is so important  talks in such an informal way; not only informal, but also incorrectly. I could go on talking about things that surprised me about the mayor and how I can't believe how she got her job, but I could go on for a long time. So I'm just going to leave it there for today and hopefully write again on Monday. Tomorrow I am leaving to go to Calakmul, a beautiful place with Mayan architecture, and I am coming back Sunday.

Thanks for reading!

SP